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Get our newsletter every Friday! What do you get if you deep-fry Santa Claus? Because his wife was a total flake. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. How does Santa stay STD free? You do a bunch of work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit. I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come… Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

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35 Dirty Christmas Jokes That Will Help You Get Through The Holidays

A ho ho ho bag. I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come… Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left. Is your name Jingle Bells? He sold his soul to Santa. Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? Why does Santa always land on your roof? What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?

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